I am a high school counselor and each May I get ready to read the names of about 100 seniors as they walk across the stage at one of the most important milestones in their lives, graduation.
As you might imagine, there is a lot of preparation before graduation and most schools hold one or two hours-long rehearsals before the big day. Though my only task at the actual ceremony is to sit quietly until it's my turn to read names, I take this job of name reading very seriously.
One part of the rehearsal involves practicing the roll call. Excited seniors get to practice processing across the stage as counselors get to practice pronouncing names correctly. Last year, one student after another began telling us to just leave off a middle name, or just pronounce a difficult last name any old way because that's how everyone pronounces it, “it's fine, really". After about 10 kids told me to just delete their middle names, I'd had enough. It didn't feel right. I stopped reading names and made a speech to the entire senior class about how their parents thoughtfully chose those first and middle names for them for some good reason, and that I was sure they would like to hear those specially chosen names on the day of their graduation. I told them that we wanted to get their names right, even if we had to ask them to repeat themselves over and over and over. It was important. They silently listened to my short but serious speech and then those silly high school kids broke into a melodramatically slow applause that gradually picked up speed. We got back to the practicing. They got the point and helped us with their names.
I firmly believe in what I said. Anyone who has named a child knows what I mean. Heck, anyone who HAS a name knows what I mean. Names carry meaning. My younger daughter's middle name is Deana. It's spelled with one N, and does not follow the slightly more common spelling with two N's. Eight years from now, please don't misspell her name on her diploma because she shares the same name with her grandmother, whom she did not get to meet. Her nana died several years before she was born. And while the rest of us are lucky to have known her, this child who didn't, has a special bond with her through her name.
My older daughter's middle name is Kiang, my maiden name. Because my children are half Caucasian and live in America, there is some likelihood that they will further lose elements of being Chinese. It is important to me that the name of my parents is carried on in some way. The name represents my parents' struggle to dig up roots from an exotic place on the other side of the world. A place that our ancestors lived for centuries. The name is my parents' sacrifices, strength, and rich culture that brought this child into being. It is part of her origin story, so please do me the honor of reading my daughter's full name at graduation, and pronounce it in a way that her grandparents, sitting in the auditorium, will recognize.
I know Kiang doesn't really roll off the tongue. On my first day at an elementary school I worked at many years ago, I was asked what the students should call me. Uhhh, Ms. Kiang-Spray...that is my name after all...The Head of School was concerned that the students would not be able to pronounce it, so she suggested Ms. K-S, or Miss Wendy. She didn’t think they could say three syllables? I might add that the Head of School's name was (similar to) Mrs. Sasparilla. A name and title containing six syllables! What I suspect is that my name was a little unusual, a little too ethnic for her maybe. But get this - when I practice reading names of my students at graduation, I write them phonetically and I practice. "Key-young spray" "Key-young spray" "Key-young spray". Now say it a little faster. You got it! It's as simple as that.
Last year, I had the flu during the week before graduation. I stayed in bed for days with a thermos of tea and my Rolodex of cards with all my students' names on them. A name was written on each card and in parentheses, was the phonetic spelling for the trickier names. In a few days, I would bring the Rolodex to the podium and read each name. I had some fever-induced help last year since I practiced names while sick in bed, and to my chagrin, also in many fever-induced dreams about graduation.
When graduation day came, it brought me great pride to see my students, whom I've watched grow through the years, complete high school. It brought me pleasure to read each full name pronounced correctly, in the same way that every parent in the auditorium crafted it on the day of their child's birth. The reading of the names brings me pleasure and pride likely because I'm a spelling nerd, or a pronunciation nerd, or some other kind of word nerd, but also because I know that every name has a story. Even a name as common as Wendy has a story attached and I'm glad to be a part of honoring that at this important ceremony each May.